don't make the mistake of living your life self - centered , rushing through your days concerned only about yourself. take time for people; make them feel special; learn to apperiate them. when you see the mailman ..call out " hey are you doing" when your at the grocery store thank your cashier.. be friendly, sow a seed with the man at the gas station ..share a laugh call him " boo" ( like i do ) try makeing a random deposit with people in passing . why bother joel ? you may ask... as a part of your relationship with god,you need to extend kindness & apperiation to every person you meet. you need to be of service to others....everyday look for someone you can encourage. a simple compliment may turn someone's day around.. " you look great" " that colors looks good on you" or a more sincer approach tell some one how much you really apperiate them and care ...your words have the power to put a spring in somebodys step. too lift someone out of defeat & discouragement , and to help prople some one to victory. understand that every person need encouragement , no matter who he or she is or how successful he / she appears to be. frequently , someone will tell me; " joel you've made a differnece in my life "... or " you've really help me" . everytime i hear statements like that it encourages me to do better; it does something deep down inside of me that lets me know that my life has significance & that am able to make a difference in this world. everyone needs this kind of encouragement ...ohh tracy learn to be friendly and avoid anything that eludes the attitude that you are so important that you can't take the time for somebody eles not on your level ...instead make sure to make everyone you meet feel important , strive to make others feel special and that you care... joel osten
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
it's amazing how people will respond when they know that you're rooting for them, that your in their corner , wanting them to do well. often times, they will be willing to change then they know you're not trying to condemm them, that you are not trying to put them down or make them fell bad about themselves. true correction always inspires people to want to do better. if you'll make it a priority to keep emotional accounts full in your relationships. you will have far fewer problems with people receiving suggestions from you. in fact , one expert says that the 1st 30 seconds of a conversation will determine the next hour. so when you have something sensitive to talk about , when you have something that has potential to cause conflict or problems, always start positively. ( reminds me of when barbra cox once told me start these kind of conversation with " i love you " ) make sure the time to approach the subject is right. make sure you have though before hand how your going to start the conversation & exactly what your going to say...and in your case trace always best to keep it simple and too the point. be aware of your tone of voice . watch your body language . keep a plesant expression & discuss the matter in " love ".when trying to improve a relationship , if your words or actions cause the other person to become defensive you've defeated your purpose that is not going to receive what you have to say . if your " shamming " " blaming " or just judging...they will turn it back on you. studies show that it takes 5 positive charges to over ride one negative comment . in other words , before you say a thing, give that person 5 compliments. remember genuine love overlooks a fault . love makes allowances for mistakes... true love sees the best in every person. if you want to make a hugh deposit into someone's life, when he makes a mistake & he knows it...don't make a big deal out of it ..if possible... don't embrass them , try to hold these conversations in private & always do your best to protect their dignity.... from joel osten...
Monday, July 13, 2009
if you want your relationships to thrive , you must invest in them. by being a giver rather than a taker . everywhere you go, strive to make relational deposits into peoples lives, encouraging them , building them up, and helping them to feel better about them selves. granted , it's not always easy. some people are difficult to be around they tend to draw the life right outta you. they're not bad people; they just drain you. they always seem to have a problem , or some major crisis that they are convinced requires your help to solve or they just want to bitch! they talk all the time , so much you can't get a word in edgewise. by the time the conversation done, you feel as though your emotional energy is gone.difficult people don't make positive deposits; they are to busy making withdrawals. please, don't misunderstand me. it's okay to some days be down and discouraged. everybody has that right. but if your like that all the time , then there's a problem. your not going to have good friendships or good family relationships if your always draining the emotional reserves out of people. i like to think of my relationships as "emotional bank accounts"i have an account with everyone i come in contact with friends / family / even those i meet in passing... every time i interact with them am either making a deposit or withdrawal. Now, you ask me "how joel, can i make a deposit ? it's as simple as taking the time to walk up to someone and shake there hand " how are you ".... " good morning "... "have a blessed day".... just the simple fact that you went out of your way to make him or her feel important made a deposit into that account. your act of kindness built respect and trust. you can make your deposit's by simply smiling at people / acknowledging them / being friendly / being pleasant in ordinary circumstances..... joel osleen.... i myself also try to quietly and silently salute the divine spark which is in everyone....and occasionally i' ve been known to whispser " i love you " " have a blessed day" or "you look great"